When Drew Toler was taking a class in graduate school 36 years ago, he didn’t know his career would be influenced by a discussion between a student and professor. Once he recalled the conversation, everything clicked and the foundation for a life-changing and inspirational career began.

In 2019, Drew joined Midwest Transplant Network as a Family Services Coordinator, but his relationship with MTN started much earlier. He was a chaplain at Children’s Mercy Kansas City when MTN wanted to offer training for chaplains to become designated requesters for families of children who had passed away and had the opportunity to give gifts through tissue donation.

“I was one of the first in the group of chaplains trained to be a designated tissue requester, and that’s how I was introduced to the MTN mission,” he said. A few years later, he became the liaison between MTN and Children’s Mercy.

In time, Drew had an opportunity to return to his home state of Arkansas to provide leadership to start a family services department at ARORA, an organ procurement organization. He stayed connected to people at MTN.

Today, Drew leads MTN’s Family Services department and provides resources and support to staff who meet families at the worst time of their lives.

“The Family Services team is a group of people who are incredibly passionate, compassionate and brave, and they join with families and support them through a significant and unanticipated loss that they’re going through. And, at the same time, empower the families with a decision to make a difference, not only in the life of another person through organ transplantation, but also to make a difference in how they will journey through their grief experience,” he explained.

Drew noted that organ donation does not take away a person’s grief. “It allows a person to create meaning and hope out of their loss. Donor hero families can transition with other families of donor heroes. The MTN Family Services donor family team continues that journey with the family by giving them effective communication about how a recipient’s outcomes are and supporting them through various events that we do to celebrate their donor family member. Sometimes a bereaved spouse or a bereaved parent may call the donor family group and just need a listening ear. This group continues the journey with them for as long as a family needs it.”

How it started
In 1988, Drew was in a biomedical ethics class in graduate school. The class spent the semester talking about topics and ethical dilemmas facing the country. At the end of the semester, a student raised his hand and asked the professor, “What do you think is the most pressing ethical dilemma this country faces?”

Without missing a beat, the professor said, “Perfectly good organs that should go to help save the lives of those on the transplant waiting list.”

And though Drew heard that, it didn’t really make an impact until later when he was working as a chaplain in a pediatric intensive care unit and a family was told that their child was declared brain dead.

“I met with the organ procurement coordinator for that local OPO in Alabama, and as they talked to this family about how the gifts that their child could give to save the life of another child, that conversation from years earlier in that ethics class just drove home the importance of what the professor said that day and this type of work.”

Drew wasn’t looking to work for an organ procurement organization, yet he was struck with how families at the time of such devastating news are looking for a way to make something meaningful and hopeful to come out of that.

“I could see, as the organ procurement coordinator was talking to the family, that was what the family needed,” he said. “The family immediately grabbed onto what the coordinator said and responded that they needed to do this. They said it would help their family as well, knowing that they were sparing another family from going through a similar loss.”

That’s when everything came together for Drew, and he understood how impactful this role is and what organ procurement organizations do.

A rewarding career
Reflecting on his career, Drew is inspired by the decisions families make during a significant tragedy happening in their life. “Somehow, they are able to think about and consider the needs of others at that time,” he said.

“The stories my team share about families and their interactions with them continues to be very inspiring to me and makes me incredibly grateful for the impact that the Family Services department can make in the lives of other people at the most difficult time in their lives.”

MTN President & CEO Jan Finn, RN, MSN, has high regard for his work.

“Drew has provided MTN with a stable and supportive environment for the Family Services team to work and thrive in for several years,” she said. “We were grateful when Drew came to us from Arkansas and knew he would make a positive impact immediately. We didn’t realize the depth completely until we heard how he approached every situation to make it better for everyone.”

Best practices
Drew is a lifelong learner. “The biggest thing that I’ve had to learn and put into practice is being a non-anxious presence, being able to walk into a room where a family is completely grief stricken, and the emotional climate can be intense. It might be sad, it might be anger, but to be able to go into that and be a non-anxious presence means being able to bring the emotional climate of that room to a place where families can have a thoughtful discussion about what organ donation can mean.”

The team benefits from discussions about being a non-anxious presence and how they can lead conversations in a very thoughtful and empowering way with donor families.

Carol Benson, RN, MSM, Director of Hospital Services at MTN, said Drew’s work has had a positive impact on MTN. “He has been a mentor to so many, including me. I always appreciate his curiosity and ability to really listen and reflect on what you are saying.”

A new chapter
Drew will retire from MTN Dec. 31, 2024. Retirement brings him to a place where he will have time for hobbies and much more. He has a four-generation family cabin that was once a small farm.

“I’ve not been able to go there as frequently as I like. I plan to go there, and I enjoy writing and gardening. I like to ride my horses in the back country out west or at my place in Arkansas. I like to fly fish and tie flies. I will travel and see family and friends who live across the country.

“There are a lot of good memories I have had over the years, lots of good relationships and friendships I know that will outlive my time at MTN,” he said.

Lessons from Drew

“Drew has taught us so much,” said Sarah Oland, LMSW, Chief Stakeholder Engagement Officer.

“We have learned from Drew how important it is to be curious…when we want to know more, we listen to understand and that makes us more a supportive presence for others. Drew is a role model for this with his team and colleagues, and we in turn, offer that same support to our donor families. He has taught us the importance of being brave in the face of grief and all the intense emotions that come with that. Our staff face challenges on the path to donation and he helps us to face those challenges, feel confident in our abilities to be successful, and to leave everyone a little bit better than we found them.”

Please join us in wishing Drew a happy retirement.